Paper, paper


Legal pads, right, they’re flat and yellow. They are nice to write on—a pencil glides smoothly, a pen’s ink contrasts with the paper pleasingly; they are comfortable on your lap, perforated, and have bulbous margins for notes. Neat! So why the fuck can’t I use the back side of a page? Look:

Legal pad

What am I supposed to do with this? Multiple lines unusable due to the binding, and you lose more and more as you go through the booklet. Yet another example of lousy manufacturing, with no love towards the consumer or the planet. It seems we’re only meatbags with wallets, or space-rocks with minerals. Damn American capitalist piggies, sizzle on Satan’s skillet!

Hardcover books, right, dust covers are annoying. They slide off as you are holding the book in the air, which you are forced to do, since the book snaps shut otherwise. French flaps achieve the same thing as a dust cover, with internal space for author biographies and such, and don’t fall off. France has the right ideas, unlike American bacon. Poignant.

Where are the trees going? To legal pads and dust covers. Provide your paper with pristine purpose; please, don’t pollute, pain, or pervert our parental, paternal planet. Poignant.